I’m well aware this may be the cheesiest blog post ever. But I have a few things I’d like to say to you, so bear with me.
Some of you reading this are the DIY bride – you’re full of crafty ideas, you’re amazing with a glue gun & you love yourself a good sale at Michaels. Some of you are classic & glamorous – although you love the details, you’d much rather find the perfect Etsy vendor than make it yourself. Some of our are getting married in a gorgeous ballroom – a stunning black tie affair with a Vera Wang gown. While others of you are getting married in the field on your parent’s farm, wearing the veil your grandmother made & a handkerchief your daddy wore.
Some of you have been dreaming & planning & ripping out magazine pages since before the Age of Pinterest. For others of you this is a new thing, and you never thought you’d love the details or the planning as much as you actually do. And some of you hate the details – you want to hire a professional, and show up the day-of all dolled up.
But no matter what type of Bride you are, you share one thing in common – you’re a bride.
You’ve made a commitment. When he asked you to be his wife, you said yes. You choose right then & there to put this process in motion. It’s a big deal. You’ve decided that your life is no longer your own… your life belongs with him. On your wedding day, you will make an incredible vow. I daresay it’s the most important vow you will ever make in your life. You are vowing to choose to love him, always. To sacrificially put his life, his feelings, his heart before your own. Yea, becoming a wife is a pretty big deal.
But I want you to really listen to me when I say this… and I want you to take it to heart. Your wedding day is not the biggest day of your life. And if all the details fail, it does not matter.
I know, I know. I’m the wedding planner. And I’m trying to make a living on perfecting your dream day, so I’m well aware that this sounds really strange. But I’d be lying if I told you any differently.
Right now, some of you are stressing over font choices, invitation layout, linen colors & finding the perfect centerpiece. You’re worried about the weather, the timeline & if you can afford your dream photographer. And I bet you’ve cried more than one ugly cry since this process began. I get it. I was you once.
You think about your to-do list constantly, annoy your friends with random wedding talk & can’t seem to stop looking at your ring. Some of you may even be overanalyzing choices you’ve already made – “did I choose the right bridesmaid dress” “maybe we should have picked the other venue”. And I bet more than a few times you’ve gotten anxious about feeling fat in your wedding dress.
Wedding planning is an emotional time. And, in all honesty, I think it should be. You’re preparing to be someone’s WIFE. That’s not for the faint of heart. Being a wife takes patience, submission, and sacrificial love. It’s choosing to see the best in someone even when they’re at their worst. It’s being a counterpart, lover, believer & friend EVERY DAY for the rest of your life.
I don’t want to scare you. That’s not what I’m trying to do! My hope is that you’ll realize that EVEN IF it rains, or you don’t have the chairs you always wanted, or your linen color is the exact shade of radiant orchid, or you wish you were 10lbs lighter … YOU, sweet bride, are his WIFE at the end of that precious day.
Fact: I have never seen a truly “perfect” wedding day. Things WILL go wrong. From the little to the big, things will happen. And, it doesn’t matter if guests say it was the best OR worst wedding they’ve ever been to. It doesn’t matter if the DJ messes up your first dance sang, or you go to cut the cake & realize you forgot a cake knife… Who cares?! Right now you’re trying to make this day so perfect that you’re choking the life out of it. You’re trying to please your fiancé, his parents, your parents, your sweet grandmother, your MOH… the list goes on & on. And it’s EXHAUSTING. Truly exhausting. Right?
I haven’t been married very long… just a little over 7 months. But can I tell you something? Our wedding day WAS amazing. Yet things DID go wrong. And some of my MOST CHERISHED moments are not the details I planned or things I even dreamed about … they are so much more than that! And although our wedding day was the perfect day to start the rest of our lives … the rest of our lives has been so much better than the wedding day.
Marriage is a crazy, wonderful, challenging & beautiful thing. And although I love the details of our wedding, and, yes, I would do it again in a heartbeat… our marriage has been so much more. And THAT’S what I want you to remember, brides. I want you to remember that when you’ve reached that bridezilla moment… when absolutely nothing seems more important than finding the perfect favor or the right ceremony décor. I want you to remember WHY you made the vow in the first place… why did you say yes? Why do you want to marry him? Why is being his wife so dang important?!
You’re day will be beautiful. It might not be those little girl dreams, or fit in the page of Martha Stewart, but I promise you… when it’s all said & done, you’ll be his wife, and that means so, so much more.
(( Photos by Katelyn James Photography … unplanned, perfectly imperfect moments from our wedding ))